You will learn from this video a seldom recognized fact: smoking and dancing is the universal language. Lucky for Snoop, I am fluent in this language, and I plan on speaking lots of it this weekend. You have no clue how long I have been waiting to see Snoop live....
My plans? Well, I'm anticipating a bender. It will officially begin with a blunt at around 9 AM or whenever I decide to wake up. This will continue through the concert. You see, I will be venturing off that next day, and I have to smoke all of my bud before I leave. I'm giving it up officially for one month exactly. Yes, you read that correctly. I'm giving up my one true love. I will be able to pass a pee test for the first time in many years. It will be legendary.
Till then, I've found my special rolling papers from Turkey, and I'm planning on rolling a Mustafa-style J, just in case I meet the man himself. The chances of M and I parting with Snoop afterward are pretty good for several reasons. The first: my strategy. That is, sweet talkin' the gangstaz he be wif. With my peanut butta accomplice, we shall be unstoppable. Secondly, from the video it is evident that some awkward white chicks get invited to the party. Check out that homely bitch standing by the wall, being weird. If she can party with Snoop, I sure as hell can. If I know of two people who can talk their way into and out of anything, it's M and I. I could get high enough to perform one of my sweet freestyles that I do only when I'm completely ripped. What if Snoop hears and he's totally impressed? What if I get signed to a label this weekend? Won't you feel cool saying, "Hey, I knew that girl when she was an unemployed blogging nerd, before she became so famous and sexy and desirable all because of those sick freestyles and dope lyrics..."
"Later on that day
My homey dr. dre came through with a gang of tanqueray
And a fat ass j, of some bubonic chronic that made me choke
Shit, this aint no joke
I had to back up off of it,
set my cup down.
Tanqueray and chronic,
yeah I'm fucked up now..." ("Gin and Juice", Doggystyle, 1993).
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