Saturday, August 15, 2009

naughty girl!

I have about a trillion things to post, and as you can see I've been slacking. I just got back from Louisville, after spending time with three of my very best girlfriends. Playing in the Louisville Corporate Dodgeball tournement this morning, we made it to the third round, then got beat by a team who had no offense and a bunch of obese women. My competitive side came out, I did some yelling, and ended up with an ankle sprain. But many sweet moves went down, too. Well worth the sprain, in my book.

However, I'm getting ready to go to the gay bar to celebrate my friend's birthday, and I know I will have to dance my ass off. Even if I have a grapefruit for an ankle. I'm beat, so I've got to find some way to reenergize before this night begins...then find another way to wake up and be at an antique show at 7 AM...

thank god for adderall.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Birth control? Really?

This post is not entertaining or inspirational; it's more or less a personal health monologue. If you don't have a vagina you should care but probably don't. Why? Because if you don't have a vagina you probably don't ever have to ask yourself, "Should I take birth control?" It's a tough question to answer.

It doesn't seem like it should be: take a pill every day (or whatever ring, patch, etc) and you can fuck all the time without getting knocked up. In theory, it sounds fabulous! However, you are actually putting synthetic hormones in your body.

Hormones control everything about you: what you love, hate, feel, basically how you live. Do you really want to put synthetic hormones in your body?

Birth control (i.e. the pills, patch, ring, shot) can make your weight fluctuate. I don't know about you, but if I ever feel fat, I'm not having sex. These synthetic hormones also kill your libido.

So, taking birth control could potentially numb you from feeling and put you into a state of existence in an asexual world plus fifteen pounds. Doesn't sound like you get laid much there. I don't ever want to be in this place.

Furthermore, people can't be trusted. Even the best guys have slept with girls that I would never sleep with if I was gay or a dude. This just means you should use condoms anyway. Who knows what's goin' around...

Aside from condoms (monogamous relationship) pull-out method is more effective than condoms when done properly. If you know when you're ovulating, and you use condoms during the 10 days around ovulation, and he pulls out the rest of the time, this is more reliable than birth control pills. Real talk.

Plus, who wants to take a pill every day? And really, will you remember to take it at the same time every day? I worked with two women, who are now two mommies, because they flaked out and forgot to take their birth control pills at the right time. Slip up once or twice in a month and you're ovulating then BAM! You're prego. I don't trust myself, nor do I want to, take a pill every single day. I'm not even getting laid right now! Take your pills elsewhere, Doc.

Yet another thing that men never have to stress about.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The little brother is all grown up now

Please listen to my buddy on myspace. His new song "Space Ducks" is quite hilarious.

Speaking of hilarious, if you haven't checked out his video watch it now:

Looks just like his sister.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

I have awesome friends

Dinner + Baseball game + Drinking thereafter


Purses: fucking disgraceful

I am embarrassed for myself. In an effort to clean out my closet, I started to organize my handbag collection. I am ashamed at the wasteful amount of crap I own. I don't consider myself to be materialistic, nor a shop-a-holic, nor a purse fanatic. However, after my purse count I am truly disappointed in myself. Altogether I have 32 purses. Yuck. No more until I get rid of some.

What's worse, I'm definitely a pattern shopper. Half of them fuckin' look the same!!! Ew! Bad girl.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Calories in Alcoholic Drinks

Ewww... this grosses me out to think about how many calories I've put in my body in single evenings. Looks like I will be sticking with Mich Ultra (a freshmen year favorite) or rum and diet. This came from WebMD:

Pina Colada (6 oz): 378 calories
Mojito (8 oz): 214 calories
Cosmopolitan (4 oz): 200 calories
Chocolate martini: (2 oz each vodka, chocolate liqueur, cream, 1/2 oz creme de cacao, chocolate syrup): 438
Margarita (8 oz): 280
Green apple martini (1 oz each vodka, sour apple, apple juice): 148
Martini (2.5 oz): 160
Port wine (3 oz):128
Bloody Mary (5 oz): 118
Red wine (5 oz):120
White wine (5 oz): 120
Alcohol-free wine (5 oz): 20-30
Beer (12 oz): 150-198
Light beer (12 oz): 95-136
Ultra-light beer (12 oz): 64-95
Champagne (5oz): 106-120
Coffee liqueur (3 ounces): 348
Godiva chocolate liqueur (3 oz): 310
Wine spritzer (5 oz): 100
Eggnog with rum (8 ounces): 370
Hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps (8 oz): 380
Hot buttered rum (8 oz): 292
Spiced cider with rum ( 8 oz):150
Mulled wine (5 oz): 200
Vodka and tonic (8 oz): 200
Screwdriver (8 oz): 190
Mimosa (4 oz): 75
Gin and tonic (7 oz): 200
Long Island iced tea (8 oz): 780
White Russian (2 oz vodka, 1.5 oz coffee liqueur, 1.5 oz cream): 425
Mai Tai (6 oz) (1.5 oz rum, 1/2 oz cream de along, 1/2 oz triple sec, sour mix, pineapple juice): 350
Rum and Coke (8 oz): 185
Rum and Diet Coke (8 oz): 100
Mike's Hard Lemonade (11 oz): 98

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Django Reinhardt

A friend from undergrad reminded me of how happy this can make you. I'm ready to go swing dancing now.

Monday, July 27, 2009

World's most charming man falls in love with chick far hotter than me

Have you ever avoided thinking about someone, until you're forced by changes in one of your lives? Then, you realize you cared far more than you ever thought you did, and a person you haven't seen or spoken to in months becomes the focal point of your reflective and emotional energy.

Peyton Clarkson. Comedian I dated for a short period of time while I was in New York last summer.

What made me remember him? This time, I stumbled across one of his stand-up routines while sifting through Zach Galafinakis skits on youtube.

What do I remember about him? Great conversations. Insightful, funny, so positive: ultimately a dreamer.

We met when me and a couple of my girlfriends randomly walked into this comedy club, The Village Lantern (where George Carlin and several other legends got their Bleeker Street) after we got denied at Off the Wagon because of the frenchies' passports. We went into the Village Lantern to watch comedy and sat in the front row. Peyton was performing.

In the middle of his routine, he calls us out as part of his routine and asks us where we're from. Of course he had typical comedian responses, like speaking really bad french to the french chicks. When I replied "Kentucky," he completely flattered me, obviously not without commenting on my accent. On stage, he invited us to stay after and drink with him, calling us "the hott chicks" for the remainder of the show. We didn't stop talking until I had to go to class the next day.

The most memorable dance of my life. Some of the most memorable conversations of my life. I can remember every kind thing he ever said to me (and he said many). Whenever we hung out, I had a great time. We always did cool things, too. Never had sex, but definitely got stoned in his bed while he did hilarious voices and impersonations (please get high with a comic before you die). He's just one of those people you're really glad you met in life.

At any rate, he is now completely in love with his current girlfriend who is a pin-up dancer in Hollywood who looks like Audrey Hepburn. Total babe. They're really cute.

While I certainly wish I could have experiences like that again, and cool guys getting hot girlfriends is always kinda disappointing, I can't say I'm not happy for the guy. Maybe if I had spent more time with him I would be jealous? We've not seen each other in almost a year now, and only talked a handful of times since. I don't think I was ever sexually attracted to him, although it did seem romantic. The dynamic is confusing. But what I find most interesting about the experience, that's obviously affected me to some extent at least, is the way I've framed my thoughts about him.

I don't mean to strip anyone of their identity (and I hope this makes sense) but in my mind I don't think of Peyton, I think of "Peyton". That is, "Peyton" as a (Jungian) archetype, rather than a specific individual. A "Peyton" is one who induces laughter, excitement, intellectual stimulation, and overall euphoria. A Peyton the manifestation of positive, engaging experiences with members of the opposite sex. An association I make.

Peytons are truly few and far between.

I feel so weird about thinking of this person like this. I'm really thinking about the experiences I had with him, rather than him as a person. I don't know if that's an insult or a compliment, but I mean it only as a good thing. I guess I feel strange thinking of someone else in terms of my own encounters, rather than their "person-ness." That's pretty selfish, isn't it?

I've felt very "absorptive" lately. More on this in forthcoming post.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Are Academics Ever Happy?

Just a question I've been asking myself for a while. One of my (Perhaps MOST) favorite professors just wrote me a book of an email to me about how disenchanted he is with his life in academia. He is certainly not the first.

Another great professor of mine in grad school (an archaeologist...the one I had a HUGE crush on) can hardly have a family because of everything he's expected to do. My other professors are always stressed out about something, having relationship issues, and NEVER have sex with their partners. It's not like the pay makes up for it, either.

So they all complain to their students about how wretched their lives are, how much political shit they have to deal with, the increasing size of their work loads, and budget cuts. They never can separate their work from their personal life, so insecurities and validation issues in their romantic relationships abound. You can imagine how difficult having a relationship with an academic would be.

I feel sorry for my professors. They're wonderful, brilliant people, and I love them. I want contentment for them so badly that it hurts my soul. However, it doesn't seem to be too prevalent among academics.

I used to think this was my path. A Ph.D. is super-impressive and the allure of being a specialist used to be my motivation for go further in my studies. However, more and more people are getting these degrees now, so they're not just reserved for the elite. No perks in particular come to mind, so I don't understand where the benefit in choosing this path would be. There comes a point when "doing what you love" becomes just "doing." That's when you exist, instead of living. I would kill myself before my life ever came to this. From what I'm told, this happens a lot to academics, which makes me so sad.

After getting closer with my professors and realizing what an emotionally unhealthy lifestyle they have, I'm very glad that I'm where I am now. Happy, healthy, in love with life. 'Baller', rather than 'Doctor', you could say.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Let's Play a Game!

Question: Which mega-nerd (from my philosophy club) in the accompanying photograph asked me on a date via facebook? email, sil vous plait.