Recognize the medicinal value of marijuana!

Physicians in California released this list of conditions for which medicinal marijuana is an effective treatment:

(1) AIDS wasting syndrome
(2) arthritis, osteo- and rheumatoid
(3) asthma (while not burning cannabis)
(4) Crohn’s disease/inflammatory bowel disease
(5) depression
(6) mental illness--schizophrenia (pro and con articles have been reported)
(7) degenerative neural diseases
(8) eating disorders/anorexia
(9) epilepsy/seizures
(10) glaucoma
(11) intractable breathlessness
(12) migraine
(13) multiple sclerosis
(14) nausea and vomiting
(15) obstetric problems (dysmenorrheal, morning sickness, uterine bleeding, and antimiscarriage)
(16) pain, of all types
(17) phantom limb pain
(18) tumors ( blockade of a carcinogenesis enzyme)
(19) withdrawal symptoms of alcoholism, morphinism, cocaine addiction, chloral hydrate addiction, etc. (and probably tobacco addiction).

The biggest triumph on this list: obstetric problems. I have read articles about studies done on pregnant jamaican women who regularly used marijuana that revealed no birth defects in their children. However, I had no clue that it was actually so beneficial for expecting mothers! Ganja can keep you from having a miscarriage! What a relief for women. The website mothering.com even published an article on it!

I feel a whole lot better about eventually getting pregnant.

What's it gonna be?

What's It Gonna Be? from Mike O'Connell

token asian backup singer...yes!

She is a piece of shit

I really don't like saying nasty things about people, and I love to love life, but this person sucks in all ways. She goes to Big Butter Jesus Church. Also a joke. Just looking out for you, in case you ever see her. God forbid you're gay and bump into her, she might get confused and offended, but more likely hot and bothered....

This is the reason I am graduating on time

This girl is the shit. From typing title pages to converting my word docs into PDFs, she helped me with everything. Why? Because that's what badasses do.

Happy Birthday, Daddio

It was my dad's birthday yesterday, and he came up this evening to celebrate. I am horribly freaking sick right now, yet still managed to craft some cupcakes...into the shape of a REVOLVER!

I mean, my pops is a gun-loving Republican, what I am supposed to do? I wonder who else in the world turns cupcakes into guns. Everything is 100% edible.

The beginning of a new bender, or the night I saw the Features and got put on Craigslist

As I sit here, feverish from what I believe to be alcohol poisoning, I think fondly of the past three days of debauchery that justify this debilitating physical condition. Each night will be put into separate posts, beginning with Thursday.

Thursday night was the official celebration of passing my thesis defense! So, Mikey and I decided to drink A LOT and go listen to one of my favorite bands play. I lost track of how many times I've seen them live. MTV was filming "Making the Band" so we had to sign waivers and get our photos taken before we went into the Southgate House. Mikey and I may have gotten on TV, but we were too drunk to have known if we were filmed. This is a bad thing.

We did some tequila shots, pounded beers, and reserved our energy through the opening bands to expel when the Features went on. To my surprise, the first bands had a better crowd than the Features! I found this disturbing, so I took it upon myself to project as much energy and enthusiasm as a packed house. I kinda went nuts. No lie. I jumped around A LOT.

My actions were so pronounced that the lead singer of the band, Matt, addressed my behavior through the microphone: "Thank you all for coming out. i hope you're enjoying the show. I know SHE is." I called for an encore at the end of the show, and I was granted two requests: Idea of Growing Old and another from Exhibit A that I was too drunk to retain in my memory. I do remember how awesome they were though, and I was shakin' it all over the place.

This belligerence resulted in some guy that I talked to at the show posting for me on Craigslist's Missed Connections. I don't remember what I said really and definitely don't remember what he looks like, but Minnie texted me the night after the show and informed me that someone might have posted about me. Here is the initial post:

You kinda just chilled all night until The Features came on then you danced your ass off and I thought the guy with you was your boyfriend. You said later that he was only a friend. You even got them to play two extra songs (great choices, btw). You seemed like a really cool chick. Reply to this post and tell me what tshirt you were wearing so I know it's you.

This fuckin' blew my mind. Mikey was tryin to tell me that I didn't need to be surprised, because I owned the Southgate House for about an hour of my life. However, Missed Connections is hilarious and I never ever ever thought one of those posts would be about me! I always thought of them for entertainment purposes only. Wow. Okay, so I'm going to post the reply thread below so you can see how it all panned out:


I was definitely wearing a white tshirt with Warhol's Marilyn printed in pink on the front. I remember talking but I was a few tequila shots in.

I can't believe the crowd was so small! The Features rock, and I'm glad you liked my song choices. :-) So cool you found me on Missed Connections! (I got a text from one of my best girlfriends that read, "I think someone posted a missed connection for you from the Features show!!!" how fun!)

Wow. I have never ever posted a missed connections before but I must
admit that reading them is one of my guilty pleasures! haha

I actually had a Features tee on and I didn't expect you to remember
me with all the commotion going on (started by you mostly) ya know. I
just thought you were a pretty fun chick and obviously have a great
choice of music so I dropped a line to say hey.

There's an awesome band playing Tues @ Southgate btw... Roger Clyne
and The Peacemakers. Maybe I'll see you there and say hey if that's
okay?

Always love meeting new people and finding out about new music so stay
in touch if you can.

Have a good holiday.


Surprisingly, I am not creeped out by this dude (as one would expect to be, meeting someone on Craigslist). Should I be scared? What do I do next?!? Fuck me this is random.

After the show, Mikey and I went dancing at Arnie's, which was lame as usual but we were drunk enough to forget about it. If it's any gauge of my intoxication, Mikey had an entire joint rolled and ready and neither of us had the coordination to smoke. I fell asleep with a plate of half-eaten breaded shrimp sitting on my tits, cuddling with a bottle of vitamin water. The next day I went to get my hair done, and my stylist found cocktail sauce in my hair. To get to work on time, I had to go in the same clothes I went out in the night before. I'm one classy bitch, that's for sure.

Day 2 of the bender: Danville road trip to sing with Elderbeest.

Today kicked ass!

I successfully defended my fucking thesis today. I almost puked going in from nerves, but came out getting hugs from my professors. Let's cut to the chase: The real reason I am blogging now is not to bore you with the story about my day. Rather, I wanted to share and suggest a new funny thing to do when you (& your ferret) are high:

Listen to Bone-Thugs-N-Harmony "Weed Song" and follow along with the lyrics below. It fucking rulez.

"Weed Song"

[Krayzie Bone]
Take me
Higher, higher, baby
Can you feel it?? (feel it, feel it, feel it)
Do you feel the same weed high that I feel??
Cause I'm so high (reefer makes you feel that way)
And I feeling so right
Roll (roll), let's smoke, I got to get high
I been high since the last song (off that la, la, la, la, la, la, la)
And I just been smokin' and smokin'
Smoke another blunt, roll another up
You know that weed can really ease your mind
Every time I smoke good reefer that indo high makes me fly
If everybody smoked a blunt, relieve the mind, the world could be a better place
If everybody took a break and we all just got wasted
Toked out (out, out out), smoked out (out, out, out),
Choked out (out, out, out), pull another O (out, out, out)
Let's get P-O-D-ded (P-O-D-ded, P-O-D-ded)

[Chorus (Bizzy Bone):]
The weed can't get no better (no better baby)

[Bizzy Bone]
20 dollar hollars, all day, everyday
Come around my way, you gone want to stay
Weed makes me hungry, happy, and all I can say
Sure I need some more
Don't make we wait, stay awake, fake sleep,
got the weed between the sheets
Catch me, Mary J. blessed me
Open up the dime, stimulate your mind, slide my thumb up the blunt
Open up and what you'll find in there (you don't really want)
I never been in High Times (I never been in High Times)
I never been in High Times
but can you tell me that I've been so high all my life
Am I high enough (am I high enough)
Am I high enough (am I high enough)

[Wish Bone]
I remember being a little thug
Weed, really didn't know what it was
Then I took a puff and I realized
I should always stay high
The weed (the weed), makes me feel alright (alright)
If you feel like I feel, I got half on yo dime
If you got weed smoke it, I'm a real weed smoker
If it's mine then I would
since it's yours you could, you should
If I ain't there when you blaze a blunt nigga huh, please think of me
Cause you know I nigga like to get high (high), high and free
Smokin' all night, feelin' all right
Bone Thugs get high, so high
High, high, all night, high, high
So high

[Flesh-N-Bone]
Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my my my my
I know you wonder why I do it. Love the sky
And I soar up so high
This mornin' I was in my bed
Bangin' and ringin' inside my head
I wanted to make love to you baby, but last night I got P-O-Ded instead
So please don't go away, that's all I got to say
Is I gotta have you Mary J
Such a heavenly feelin' I get when I'm taking fat ass blunts to the brain
Oh darlin' I'm going insane, and I really wish we can
Kick it at home in America, like it was on in Amsterdam
You heard enough, you heard it all, nothin' but a, a really thug nigga
Nothin' less than a killa, I'm out in front makin' my scrilla
I'm happy to know , the slide is the ball, and kick as strong as me
Be rippin' the bong like me, can hit it as long as me

[Layzie Bone]
And when I need to free my mind
I can find, satisfaction in a bag of weed
Everything I need, leave it to the trees
It can make me feel better, and every day I wake
Niggas rollin' up blunts, and mo blunts, and mo blunts
And I keep a case of Swisher Sweets in the trunk
So when I'm rollin', smokin', chokin', just floatin'
Through the city in my drop top
Glock cocked, rollin', just rollin'
Me and Mary Jane
It's my world, it's my thang
The way she penetrates my brain
Buddah, done blessed me with game
Good game, you wanna chop it up,
we can kick it, smoke a fatty to the dome
Nigga lay high, thugged out, smokin', all, night, long

Objective #1: Participate in a Renaissance Fair

With the end in sight, I've made a list of the things that will occupy my time in the place of graduate school. One of these activities involves acting in a Renaissance fair. I already know who I want to be -- Anne of Brittany! She was the Queen of France twice, and her emblem was the ermine. Yup, girlfriend had a little white pet ferret. Now I just need to find a sexy Charles VIII, or Louis XII.

I will need to record my experience, as you can only imagine the level of geek this shit is on. It would be amazing, I have no doubt. Check out some of these characters that this kat interviews:


hilarious! I can't wait!

This game show is quite Surreal...

with Dali and all! What a character... he would have been great to meet in person.

this is old, but who doesn't like turtles?

didn't you know that it was a prerequisite for all zombies to like turtles?

double-super buzz bust.

One of my personal heros, the Dancing Outlaw Jesco White, was busted for distributing narcotics. The full article is here.
Check out his new mug shot: he is really starting to show his age! I bet he can't move like he did in his Jessie days! yikes!

I grew up around so many people who actually lived like this... scary.

Lazytown vz, Lil' Jon

If Lazytown were a real place, I would smoke joints and go drive around there...

Why can't life be this simple?

When we were young, we didn't have shit to worry about...think of the stuff you did in your free time! Played in creeks, rode bikes, played basketball, craft projects, the list goes on. I miss 'the trivial'. This email I received today from the wee lassie I used to babysit during my undergrad years made me realize just how awesome it was being a kid:

Guess what happened to me at school today? Well...We were bringing back props from the play (which I was in) and I was carrying a chair over my shoulder. I turned around to talk to my friend, and when I turned back back around the chair leg got caught on the fire alarm and it got pulled down. I went straight to the prinicpal and 2 fire trucks even came! Luckily I wasnt in any trouble because I came right to her, but she told me to be careful. It was mortifying. Now when ever I walk in the halls and I pass a fire alarm my class will say "Get away! Dont pull it! Restrain yourself!", things like that! And then at dissmissal, this eight grader --Ben Powerdy-- who I dont even talk to passes me and says, "Dont pull any more fire alarms." and I just say "Wow! Thaks!" and look away. So far Dad isnt ticked about it but Mom isnt home yet...I'll just have to wait and see what she says....

Did you know the meaning of "mortifying" in 5th grade? I don't think I did.

Gotta live for it all, dude.

wearing thin

Writing this thesis is such a drag. My advisor is giving me mega-edits that make me loathe my life. To make it a little more bearable, she writes in sarcastic comments. Not annoying sarcastic- they're kinda actually funny (knowing me, at least).

I'm writing about early modern art that traces the negative connotation that is now assigned to weasels. Yes, weasels: ferrets, ermine, stoats, etc. In the middle ages, they were associated with virtues like honor, purity, and chastity. My thesis traces the disintegration of these positive ideals by the visual association of weasels with nasty, merciless monarchs and usurpers. Dumbed-down, in a nut shell: some asshole king in the Renaissance would decide that he wanted to be viewed as a virtuous ruler, so he would stamp pictures of ferrets and ermine on his coinage, public banners, etc. A harmless animal was exploited by several vile human beings as a mechanism of political propaganda and a device for the generation of absolute power. (pictures of ferrets contributed to French absolutism- 'l'etat de moi!')

At any rate, in my paper I was a little timid to make an "absolute statement." We are taught our entire lives not to make those, because they are very rarely true. So, I hinted that there may have been a few dukes and princes in early modern Europe who might have had some integrity. My professor didn't like that idea at all. The entire page (including parts of my argument that are still useful) has been marked through, and out beside the shit-show of red pen, she wrote:

A virtuous leader in the Renaissance? Only in Shakespeare, Honey. They were all violent across the world at all times. The goals of honest modern leaders such as Ron Paul are aberrations in history.

fuuuuuuck.

highlights: the BEST of MEXICAN WRESTING

this is fucking serious...ly awesome!