Friday, February 27, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I can't believe it's pot butter! you don't even knowwwww...
I love these guys, and this sketch reminds me of the great butter I made!
Monday, February 23, 2009
NOOOOOOO!!!!!
A donkey tries his damndest to get FREAKY with a grown ass man who just happened to be takin' a shit in his pasture. This is just wrong...
my old Muslim friend and his discussion of John 6:13 (3:16)
Many of you know that I want to kick it with this guy SOOO effin' badly! Obaid is the shit.
Aside from a few silly spelling errors, his english is pretty good. :-)
Who loves a Cougar?!
For the ten minutes we were at the Holy Grail, my sleezy friends managed to find a cougar and dance all up on her. This is merely a taste of what was vulgar, obscene, and awesome.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Mon Dieu! C'est CLOCLO!
Claude Francois, "J'Attendrai", makes me want some go-go boots. Like, badly.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Islam and Female Masturbation
One thought kept coming to mind over and over again as I watched this Islamic religious leader talk about how disgraceful it is for Muslim women to masturbate:
GOD BLESS AMERICA
More on T-pain...
1. I've decided that it would be pretty awesome to have T-pain just follow me around one day and repeat everything I say, or randomly shout one of his, "YEE-AHHH" or "SHAW-TAYYY!" after everything I said. Like what he does to Adam Samberg in "I'm on a Boat". It would be called, "Morgan's Daily Interactions feat. T-pain" and I would be a baller for it.
2. Playing on you tube I did stumble across his official site, and pulled out an especially entertaining excerpt about what inspires T-pain's music. In this instance, it was his song "Freeze" in particular:
But T-Pain's music isn't all about drama. He also listens to his friends when they gush about a special someone. The party track "Freeze," for instance, grew out of conversation T-Pain had with Chris Brown. Brown, who also appears on the high-energy song, was telling T-Pain how he finds women that can dance particularly attractive. Of course T-Pain's long-time fans know that he especially appreciates women who dance in strip clubs. But he knows from first-hand experience how men often fall victim to DJs who switch songs up too quickly when they've just paid for a lap dance. Hence, the five-minute plus "Long Lap Dance." "In Florida, strippers charge for lap dances by the song," T-Pain explains.
"If you just so happen to ask a girl for a lap dance in the middle of a song and the DJ cuts it off, you still have to pay the full price. So I just made a long song, so whenever you ask for it, you should be good. And the DJs know that they can't cut it off, 'cause then it wouldn't be the 'Long Lap Dance' song."
Thanks for doing everyone such a favor, T-pain. Your contributions to humanity are most deserving of praise and recognition. Knowing that I will get the most bang for my buck (literally and figuratively) at the strip club makes it a bit easier to go to sleep at night. I appreciate you looking out for the little guy.
Here's the video for "Freeze"
2. Playing on you tube I did stumble across his official site, and pulled out an especially entertaining excerpt about what inspires T-pain's music. In this instance, it was his song "Freeze" in particular:
But T-Pain's music isn't all about drama. He also listens to his friends when they gush about a special someone. The party track "Freeze," for instance, grew out of conversation T-Pain had with Chris Brown. Brown, who also appears on the high-energy song, was telling T-Pain how he finds women that can dance particularly attractive. Of course T-Pain's long-time fans know that he especially appreciates women who dance in strip clubs. But he knows from first-hand experience how men often fall victim to DJs who switch songs up too quickly when they've just paid for a lap dance. Hence, the five-minute plus "Long Lap Dance." "In Florida, strippers charge for lap dances by the song," T-Pain explains.
"If you just so happen to ask a girl for a lap dance in the middle of a song and the DJ cuts it off, you still have to pay the full price. So I just made a long song, so whenever you ask for it, you should be good. And the DJs know that they can't cut it off, 'cause then it wouldn't be the 'Long Lap Dance' song."
Thanks for doing everyone such a favor, T-pain. Your contributions to humanity are most deserving of praise and recognition. Knowing that I will get the most bang for my buck (literally and figuratively) at the strip club makes it a bit easier to go to sleep at night. I appreciate you looking out for the little guy.
Here's the video for "Freeze"
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
things I learn and think about in class sometimes
It's not what's painted, it's what's excluded from the painting all together.
Manet's Olympia, a naked prostitute (see image), represents the exchange of commodities and goods, according to Marxists.
I hate Marx.
Evil altruism exists.
One can go too far politicizing images.
Nothing can truly be reflected in another thing. There is always at least a slight distortion in that thing. So, to say "The _________ is reflected by the _________." is incorrect.
An archive is any particular place serving as a container, or vessel, for collected objects. Henceforth, my closet, laundry room and storage room shall each be called "archives" just to sound pretentious and humor myself by suggesting that I'm organized.
Formlessness can't be defined.
Derrida is a douchebag.
I don't know that I can actually conceive of ambiguity. What is it really, and does it truly exist?
prostitutes are linked to circulation through strange associations, according to TJ Clark.
Parapraxis: Freud's actual term for "Freudian Slip", or an error in action thought to be caused by the unconscious.
In the philosophy of art, the term phallus does not always mean penis. It sometimes represents the idea of the power of a penis. So, a phallus can be present in an image without any actual genitalia being depicted.
Sex without the production of a child is considered excess. (This is a shitty idea, in case you didn't catch that.)
I would rather be at a basketball game right now.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
blindsided by Bone Thugs
Mikey = bad influence
Wanna know why? Allow me to tell you about my weekend:
1. I have been investing more time than usual hanging out with a pretty cool dude who I will call Ross. He's funny and lanky and smokes weed like me, so I think he's a badass. Yeah, it's safe to say that I'm in like with him. And bein' in like with someone is a pretty good time.
And we had a great time Wednesday and Thursday night. Just taking bong rips and giggling! Watched Pineapple Express for the 40th time, and I'm getting really good at quoting it. So basically, I was just kickin' it with a cool dude, staying indoors and out of trouble. Well, I leave Ross' place Friday after we went to lunch. I had planned on going into work that afternoon, but this of course didn't happen because MIKEY shows up at my crib with the Bone Thugs N Harmony Greatest Hits CD. It was also a gorgeous day! So rather than being productive, we decided to smoke and go get lost. We managed to drive around on county roads for a few hours Friday afternoon rapping with Bizzy Bone.
FUN FACT: Rapping to early 90's shit has to be one of Mikey's top 3 things to do...ever. He's totally into it, and does all the hand gestures and everything. However, when he doesn't know the words, he actually gets pissed and disappointed in himself. So we stick to Bone and Dre and Nate Dogg and he knows all the words (to avoid Man Pouting). Hell-arious!
Mikey left after kickin' it that afternoon and I resumed my normal life. Went to a great exhibition opening with ol' Ross and had a great time! Slept in the next day, only to wake up too late to do anything really productive and ended up smoking again all day. I told myself that since I'd been downtown the night before that I was either 1. staying on my side of the river and going to see live music, or 2. sitting on my couch and kickin' it.
Sitting in my chair, thinking about doing nothing on a Saturday night, my doorbell rings. It's Mikey, with more grass, a fresh haircut and a Bone Thugs CD. He was talking about some chick who has been calling and texting him, and I was pretty sure at this point he was gonna get laid. I thought I would be out of the equation, as best friends of the opposite sex are usually not good to have around when you're playin' the game at a bar. I was wrong: Mikey told me he needed a wingman. He wasn't going to go out unless I was, so I agreed to go to the place I hate going - the LODGE BAR.
Only trouble and bad things come from the Lodge. I see people I never cared for and basically no one that I wanna be around. I decided that I was gonna have to be ripped to go, so I ate a space cake and smoked my eyes shut. Somewhere in the midst of this I dressed myself.
This was a bittersweet closet experience: I wore a Beastie Boys t-shirt with a gold lame mini skirt, black tights and red legwarmers. My hair had been teased HUGE! Hott fuckin' mess. Some chicks at the bar took pictures of my outfit, but I was too ripped to say anything to them. Pretty hella-rious! I will wear that outfit again...
My favorite, most loyal cab driver Mohammed took us to and from the bar. On the way there, he really fucked with me telling me his most recent bad news: his dad had passed away in Africa and he never got a chance to say goodbye because he's been working here in America. It was really sad, and killed my buzz because I consider Mohammed a friend, and he's saved me from some super-shady situations. Despite this buzz kill, I was still outta my mind at the bar.
Mikey turned into a rapping and dancin' machine as soon as we got there (after a few shots of so-co and lime, that he kept buying us to take) and attempted some really treacherous moves. I felt more like crowd control/conflict resolution than dance partner. Lodge Bar really is a disaster of a place though, and I can be sure of this because Mikey wasn't the only drunk fool there. Many were worse.
I was nice to his chick friends, of course, but I think that having a girl as your wingman is a pretty huge cock block no matter how nice she is. I even brought condoms in my purse for Mikey, thinking he might need them! It didn't work out for him, and he ended up on my couch, as usual.
Me, well, I was DRUNK. Under the table. Like, I-wish-I-had-puked-before-bed kind of drunk. I said ridiculous things to people. Entertained many a d-bag. I have mysterious muscle pains, as well as a ton of work to get done. And I'm still high. All this because some wise ass shows up at my crib to kick it with a Bone Thugs CD...
Wanna know why? Allow me to tell you about my weekend:
1. I have been investing more time than usual hanging out with a pretty cool dude who I will call Ross. He's funny and lanky and smokes weed like me, so I think he's a badass. Yeah, it's safe to say that I'm in like with him. And bein' in like with someone is a pretty good time.
And we had a great time Wednesday and Thursday night. Just taking bong rips and giggling! Watched Pineapple Express for the 40th time, and I'm getting really good at quoting it. So basically, I was just kickin' it with a cool dude, staying indoors and out of trouble. Well, I leave Ross' place Friday after we went to lunch. I had planned on going into work that afternoon, but this of course didn't happen because MIKEY shows up at my crib with the Bone Thugs N Harmony Greatest Hits CD. It was also a gorgeous day! So rather than being productive, we decided to smoke and go get lost. We managed to drive around on county roads for a few hours Friday afternoon rapping with Bizzy Bone.
FUN FACT: Rapping to early 90's shit has to be one of Mikey's top 3 things to do...ever. He's totally into it, and does all the hand gestures and everything. However, when he doesn't know the words, he actually gets pissed and disappointed in himself. So we stick to Bone and Dre and Nate Dogg and he knows all the words (to avoid Man Pouting). Hell-arious!
Mikey left after kickin' it that afternoon and I resumed my normal life. Went to a great exhibition opening with ol' Ross and had a great time! Slept in the next day, only to wake up too late to do anything really productive and ended up smoking again all day. I told myself that since I'd been downtown the night before that I was either 1. staying on my side of the river and going to see live music, or 2. sitting on my couch and kickin' it.
Sitting in my chair, thinking about doing nothing on a Saturday night, my doorbell rings. It's Mikey, with more grass, a fresh haircut and a Bone Thugs CD. He was talking about some chick who has been calling and texting him, and I was pretty sure at this point he was gonna get laid. I thought I would be out of the equation, as best friends of the opposite sex are usually not good to have around when you're playin' the game at a bar. I was wrong: Mikey told me he needed a wingman. He wasn't going to go out unless I was, so I agreed to go to the place I hate going - the LODGE BAR.
Only trouble and bad things come from the Lodge. I see people I never cared for and basically no one that I wanna be around. I decided that I was gonna have to be ripped to go, so I ate a space cake and smoked my eyes shut. Somewhere in the midst of this I dressed myself.
This was a bittersweet closet experience: I wore a Beastie Boys t-shirt with a gold lame mini skirt, black tights and red legwarmers. My hair had been teased HUGE! Hott fuckin' mess. Some chicks at the bar took pictures of my outfit, but I was too ripped to say anything to them. Pretty hella-rious! I will wear that outfit again...
My favorite, most loyal cab driver Mohammed took us to and from the bar. On the way there, he really fucked with me telling me his most recent bad news: his dad had passed away in Africa and he never got a chance to say goodbye because he's been working here in America. It was really sad, and killed my buzz because I consider Mohammed a friend, and he's saved me from some super-shady situations. Despite this buzz kill, I was still outta my mind at the bar.
Mikey turned into a rapping and dancin' machine as soon as we got there (after a few shots of so-co and lime, that he kept buying us to take) and attempted some really treacherous moves. I felt more like crowd control/conflict resolution than dance partner. Lodge Bar really is a disaster of a place though, and I can be sure of this because Mikey wasn't the only drunk fool there. Many were worse.
I was nice to his chick friends, of course, but I think that having a girl as your wingman is a pretty huge cock block no matter how nice she is. I even brought condoms in my purse for Mikey, thinking he might need them! It didn't work out for him, and he ended up on my couch, as usual.
Me, well, I was DRUNK. Under the table. Like, I-wish-I-had-puked-before-bed kind of drunk. I said ridiculous things to people. Entertained many a d-bag. I have mysterious muscle pains, as well as a ton of work to get done. And I'm still high. All this because some wise ass shows up at my crib to kick it with a Bone Thugs CD...
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Happy Birthday Maximus!
THREE YEARS OLD TODAY!
I'm speechless...it doesn't seem like that long ago that Stella and I were smokin', driving around Danville KY talking about awesome funny pets and going to see them in local pet shops. Now she has her bunny PJ and I have my ferret Maximus.
I got Max from a pet shop (now out of business) called "Tanked!". He was $125 bucks, which at the time was the last of my Christmas money, but looking back on it the best $125 bucks I've ever spent. My life has been forever changed!
I'm getting ready to blow off a faculty meeting, smoke a bowl and throw tiny tennis balls around my condo, just to celebrate these three joyous years. Today will be a great day!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
A great day for pot heads in America!
Ok, so it's not legal (yet), but some cool shit happened today that ignited more than one of my triumphant fist pumps:
1. Michael Phelps, our all-American Olympic hero, admitted to hitting a bong. Way to go, bro! That makes me find him kinda sexy now, no joke.
2. Santonio Holmes, who got arrested and suspended this season for smoking weed, won Super Bowl MVP.
3. I found an awesome retro Daft Punk video of "Something About Us" with Daft wearing their sweet helmets and wearing jackets almost EXACTLY like my baller gold one. Check it out!
Blaze yo blunts!
1. Michael Phelps, our all-American Olympic hero, admitted to hitting a bong. Way to go, bro! That makes me find him kinda sexy now, no joke.
2. Santonio Holmes, who got arrested and suspended this season for smoking weed, won Super Bowl MVP.
3. I found an awesome retro Daft Punk video of "Something About Us" with Daft wearing their sweet helmets and wearing jackets almost EXACTLY like my baller gold one. Check it out!
Blaze yo blunts!
Fevrier et 20 chansons d'amour
Welcome February, month of valentines and such. Really, I just like the heart shaped doilies and the fact that there is so much pink scattered everywhere! It makes the world look like a happier place. However, the romantic in me (who enjoys putting together a soild playlist) compiled this list of luvy-duvy tunes for your listening pleasure during the month of February. I ranked them in order of my preference (one being my favorite) and included a link to the song when possible. Bises! xoxo
20. End of Fashion "She's Love"
19. Muse "Starlight"
18. The Cardigans "Lovefool"
17. Louise Attaque "Lea"
16. The Kooks "Do You Wanna"
15. The Features "The Idea of Growing Old"
14. Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong "The Nearness of You"
13. Yelle "Tu es beau"
12. Ella Fitzgerald "My Funny Valentine"
11. The Cranberries "You and Me"
10. Buddy Rich, Ella Fitzgerald, et al., "Tenderly"
9. Carla Bruni "Quelqu'un M'a Dit"
8. The Kooks "I Want You"
7. Muse "Endlessly"
6. John Denver "Follow Me"(very cool video of john denver singing on the johnny carson show!)
5. Carla Bruni "L'amoureuse"
4. The Kooks "Do You Love Me Still?"
3. The Beatles "Something"
2. Red Hot Chili Peppers "I Could Die For You"
AND my fav:
1. Daft Punk "Something About Us"
20. End of Fashion "She's Love"
19. Muse "Starlight"
18. The Cardigans "Lovefool"
17. Louise Attaque "Lea"
16. The Kooks "Do You Wanna"
15. The Features "The Idea of Growing Old"
14. Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong "The Nearness of You"
13. Yelle "Tu es beau"
12. Ella Fitzgerald "My Funny Valentine"
11. The Cranberries "You and Me"
10. Buddy Rich, Ella Fitzgerald, et al., "Tenderly"
9. Carla Bruni "Quelqu'un M'a Dit"
8. The Kooks "I Want You"
7. Muse "Endlessly"
6. John Denver "Follow Me"(very cool video of john denver singing on the johnny carson show!)
5. Carla Bruni "L'amoureuse"
4. The Kooks "Do You Love Me Still?"
3. The Beatles "Something"
2. Red Hot Chili Peppers "I Could Die For You"
AND my fav:
1. Daft Punk "Something About Us"
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