The most retarded thing I've done in a while is wear a graphic tee to a bar. Tonight, we ended up in East Village at a beer garden, and I wore a new Beatles shirt. It's true, I like band shirts, and I do LOVE The Beatles, but this shirt was far from appropriate at this bar.
One would think, "It's just a casual beer joint, nothing special, a T-shirt should suffice?!" No. A T-shirt more than sufficed, it drew unwanted attention. Allow me to explain. You see, when you have a word or picture over your breasts, men see an interesting mix of things that they like. There are the boobs, which they love and then in my case, the name of an iconic band. If the shirt is fitting and the guy is drunk enough, then it's almost like your tits BECOME The Beatles. Yup. John and Paul right there. So, for the rest of the night you have men staring at your boobies as they say things like, "I really love The Beatles!" If you asked them to name their favorite album, they would probably reply, "Boobie Road," or "Sergeant Titties Lonely Hearts Club Boob."
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