Parting of ways with Master Stroker

As many of you know, I have just officially ended the worst living arrangement of all time: cohabitation with an EXboyfriend (we will refer to him as Stan). For those of you who don't know, I will make a long story very, VERY short: I had a long-distance relationship, on and off, for 2.5 years with a guy that I thought I knew pretty well. In between my trips to Scotland, France, Turkey, ect. he was never any closer than a 45 minute drive. When he decided to drop out of law school and follow me to Cincinnati for grad school, he moved in with me. Besides making minimal financial contributions and also expecting me to cook and clean for him, I discover during this time his addictions to alcohol, prescription drugs, trading stocks and comic books (yes, sometimes he would compulsively buy 4K worth of comic books in a month...this was not uncommon). I also became familiar with the extent of his depression and anxiety, which caused him to not want to interact with me or have sex with me. Obviously, I caught the brunt of this destructive behavior, and as a therapist's daughter, I tried to be patient, understand and tried to help him find solutions. After my numerous attempts to help him, salvage a relationship, et al., I finally gave up and broke up with him. I asked him several times to get his own place, but being the spoiled, enabled asshole that he is (the son of an influential lawyer and former judge who has always gotten his way, no matter the situation), he refused and manipulated me with my own compassion. He loved the fact that I considered addiction a disease, and even though he made no effort to stop anything he did, he always pulled that out as a last ditch effort for some free pity. Through activating my guilt, he managed to stay around for 5 months after we ended our relationship, paying less than 300 bucks a month to live in my condo and making condescending, snide remarks whenever he found the opportunity. Do I feel stupid? Yes. Do I feel used? Oh yes. Did I learn a lesson? YES!

Of course, if I could change the past I would have dumped him SO much sooner - like, when we realized we were never going to spend significant time together! That's neither here nor there. At present, however, I have many reasons to be cheerful! First, he is GONE. All of his belongings are out of my place. I have blocked him from every possible venue of communication. He has nothing of mine that cannot be replaced. There is no reason for me to ever speak to him again, and this kind of finality feels so damn good... Secondly, I have my space back: I'm putting new flooring down, repainting and making it nice again. LASTLY AND MOST IMPORTANTLY I have an awesome story to tell that couldn't have happened at a more perfect time:

A couple weeks ago, my father was cleaning off the hard drive of an old laptop of mine that he was using for storage space. The computer had been infiltrated by some porn spam or something and had some pretty graphic pop-ups that my dad could no longer tolerate. So, he was sending it off to Dell and didn't want any sensitive information left on the hard drive. When I gave it to him, I THOUGHT I'd cleared off everything. It was the computer that I had when I was going to school in France, so I had a bunch of videos, photos, ect. that I saved to disk and removed. However, I never thought to check the downloads folder.

It just so happened that a certain video, sent by the exBF via email, had remained in this folder. This video, which I had COMPLETELY forgotten about, was a vigorous solo act starring Stan. In Dad's investigation of the hard drive, he discovered this video. If only someone had been able to record his reaction, like the 2 girls 1 cup video reactions; it would have been PRICELESS. My poor father flipped out! When he broke the news to me over dinner the other night, he couldn't even say the words, "jacking off", "rubbing one out", or even the PC "Masturbation". He, very seriously, locked eyes with me then made the hand gesture!!!!!! I fucking cracked up !!!!! He proceeded to explain the situation:

Dad: (dramatically) "It was the weekend you and your mom were at the museum tea when I was getting the computer situation straightened out. I saw that file with the strange name and opened it. A video of a big dick and a hand going to town popped up on the screen, and I thought, 'Damn those porn sites at it again!' then suddenly the camera angle changes and it shows the guy's face and it was fuckin' STAN! I couldn't even believe it!"

me: "HOLY SHIT dad! What did you do?!"

Dad: (again, very seriously) "I'll tell you what, I experienced a whole range of emotions. At first I could have strangled him, then I was really disgusted and confused. When it finally sunk in, I realized how fuckin' stupid he was for sending this. When I showed your mom, she said "Ewww! Why is it so red?" so then I realized how funny it was and I could finally laugh at it."

So of course I had to offer an explanation as to why that was on my computer. First, I had no idea it was being emailed to me, or that he was even doing that and sending it. I got a text that read "check your email" so I did. I checked in an area akin to an internet cafe, where every person can see exactly what you have on your screen. So when I opened it up and it started, it played for no more than 5 seconds before I began frantically trying to close out the window !!! CLICK X CLICK X CLICK X !!!! I didn't want anyone to see a dick on my computer screen, that's embarrassing and not something so acceptable in public places. Secondly, watching a dude jerk off does nothing for me, so i wasn't interested in watching it again. So, I completely forgot about it and never thought to check the download folder for any crap like that.

I feel so lucky to have parents who aren't judgmental or condescending. I got no lecture, only laughter from the situation which was a very good thing. My parents think it's so fucked up and funny, that they no longer refer to Stan by his actual name. Instead, they call him "Stroking Aces" or "Master Stroker". priceless.