Holy Humpday!

Wednesday was a crazy day that deserves mentioning:

1. I went to a meeting re: the writing of my thesis with a bunch of other grad students. We ate pizza and it was very casual. I had planned on going to the gym after this meeting, so I had on my work-out attire. Spandex shorts, tank top, pink hoodie, tennis shoes and a headband. I didn't have anywhere important to be, just going to eat pizza, right? Obviously not....

because one of my craziest, (favorite) professors - this wild, single polish woman who studies Medieval architecture and WEARS THE SAME PAIR OF BLACK LEATHER PANTS EVERYDAY- felt the need to comment on my wardrobe:

"Morgan! You are wearing shorty shorts and have pink all over!"
-"Yeah..."
"...But you are a graduate student ! If you are always dressing this way then no one will take you seriously!"
-" well, I'm going to the gym."
"Ohhh! I am glad for you that you are going to the gym!"

This woman - while she is a badass and I love her - is still a 55 year old college professor wearing one pair of leather pants everyday to give lectures. She is worried about people taking me seriously. This makes me laugh.

Okay, so after this ordeal and the meeting, I go to put my gym clothes to good use. Along the way, I see a crowd in the middle of campus, so I took a wee detour to see what they were protesting, fighting for, getting free samples of, ect. There is a portly gentlemen wearing a driving hat preaching in the middle. I asked a guy in front of me about the ruckus this guy was causing. He informed me that this christian fundamentalist fruit cake travels around to college campuses preaching about how God hates homosexuals, people who are pro-choice (or as he prefers "pro-death" and even equates "racist" to pro-choice!), drinkers, smokers, fornicators, frat boys, sorority girls, basically anyone who has a good time at all. Then, when he instigates a fight with his really hateful language, he sues the student and the school, they end up having to settle in court, he gets compensated for damages and the student gets expelled. Pretty fucked up, right? This is how he makes his $crilla.

The things he says are unbelievable. He is basically Jesco White with a Bible - a crazy ass with a loud voice and too much time. Here is an abbreviated list of people he identified as being in hell right now:

John Bonham, the drummer from Led Zeppelin
Ghandi
Mother Theresa
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Bob Marley
John Lennon
Jim Morrison
Pope John Paul II
Johnny Cash (who he refers to as "Johnny Trash")

After hearing this list of people who are, according to this fucktard, in hell right now, I have to say that I was most taken back by the mention of John Lennon. (He also called Yoko Ono an asian slut, upon his mention) During this "Hell Roll Call", you could hear dramatic audience reactions, a projection of gasps, when John Bonham and John Lennon were both mentioned. The crowd was really the best part - a whole slew of young, sassy, educated liberals- quick to shout outrageous things at this man to set him off. I, admittedly, was part of this crowd (however unsuccessful at instigating any banter with him), when I proudly shouted out, "I've had ten abortions!!!" He looked at me, but I think he was too busy getting into it with some boys in the front row.

Those guys were a real trip: they called him out for being "gluttonous" since he had quite the belly on him. Brother Micah responded to this by challenging them to a push-up contest: "I bet I could do more push-ups than you!" he said. This guy just kept on and on with bogus, ignorant remarks and suggestions. What 55 year old fatty challenges some stout 21 year old to a push-up contest?

Well, this contest and MUCH more is in "The Nuts Strike Back" (part 2, forthcoming) Yes, this is a recording of the demonstration. I stood behind the camera man, but I didn't show up until the end of part one. The atheist who posts these has a good sense of humor. Part one is posted below. It's about 10 minutes long, but some notable moments include:

sometime around 2 minutes is when he equates being pro-choice with being racist.
at 5:30, 2 lesbians walk up to him and start making out. He reacts by theatrically gagging himself and puking.
7:30 is funny because brother micah askes *rhetorically*: "Do you know why jesus was nailed to the cross?" and someone from the awesome crowd yells back, "BECAUSE HE WAS JEWISH !!!"
8:14 is when he talks about Obama endorsing "Homosex marriage". I showed up about a minute before this, so I caught this part in person.

Other great Brother Micah moments include him being asked if he had any formal training or education in religion. He tried to get around it and failed, finally admitting that he "hadn't been to cemetery." (rather than, you know, seminary). He is also caught on tape preaching, "FEAR of the LORD is the beginning of Knowledge...when I have children I am gonna beat the hell outta them !!!" Now folks, that's a wholesome Christian man. Watch and be amazed: