This morning I was awakened by a furry face nuzzling into the inside of my elbow. Maximus was getting my attention at 6 AM to let me know that he had a fever. Poor little guy was the warmest I'd ever felt him! That wanker had taken a sloppy green poo on my carpet, which turned out to be the least of my worries. He was dehydrated, flushed of color in his usually pink nose and ears, and moving slowly. He hadn't been eating or drinking much water. I am about 99% sure he has a virus - like the one that my parents both had when they ferret-sat him.
Did you know that ferrets are the only animal in the world that can catch the flu and the common cold from humans?
It's common for a dehydrated ferret to die shortly after it becomes apparent that something's awry. With this in mind, I called the vet in a panic and explained Max's symptoms. I was told that they couldn't get him in today, we would have to wait until 2 PM the next day. I have no choice but to sustain him until then.
Each hour of the day, I had to wake up Maximus to give him a hydration solution and try to get him to eat. Max was drinking Pedialyte (diluted) and eating chicken baby food masked by his favorite gooey treat. It took a while to convince him that he should eat. Eventually he started feeling better, but all day I've been worried and paranoid, compulsively checking on him and taking his temperature. When I was shopping for the things we needed to relieve Max's symptoms, I pretty much snapped at everyone standing between me and that goddamn Pedialyte. Bitch on a mission.
Seriously, I think I experienced a prolonged instance of Fight-or-Flight syndrome. I went the entire day without even a glass of water let alone an actual meal, drove in the snow like a bat out of hell and whipped up some ferret feel better juice in record time. You could say I freaked the fuck out, especially compared to my usually- type B demeanor.
My response to this situation concerning my ferret raises an even more important question:
How would I act as the mother of a child?
It will be sickening how obsessed and in love I will be with my kids.
Maximus goes to his new doctor tomorrow to hopefully get him 100% again. I have high expectations for this vet, seeing as how Max's last doctor, Dr. Walker, was a badass. PeeJay the rabbit was even a patient of Dr. Walker's. We will see what this guy is made of tomorrow. Hopefully he will make my little guy feel better.
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