"You look familiar!"

Tocaya II and I met up last night to go out and raise hell. We were successful! I smoked chronic; literally, the most beautiful weed I've ever seen. The buds looked like some exotic blossoms, like fuckin' gorgeous orchids or something! It was crazy, and most certainly, the stuff of legends!!! After polishing off a fifth of vodka, we went out to the bars, where we tried to play darts. Waiting for our turn, I was belligerent enough to gather quite an audience. These people listened to my verbal diarrhea for far too long, and I truly hope I never see them again. I made an ass out of myself from the get go, when I introduced myself:

"I have the tits of Jenna Jamison,
The mind of a scientist,
I can move like a cheetah
and all night long I've been drinkin danger juice."

Then proceeded to talk about 90's rap for about half an hour, showcasing my rap skills My vocabulary consisted of words and phrases such as, "that's real talk," "trickazz butstah," and "bitch please."

After establishing my street cred, I proceeded to quote Kenny Powers, and poorly reenact nearly every scene from the movie Dumb and Dumber: "ASSSSSPEN; Where the beer flows like wine!" This went on for a while. I ate it all up, and was drunk enough to feel very clever, funny and sexy. The guys seemed pretty entertained (but guys don't really try to seem disenchanted by a female at the end of the night in a bar, if they are smart), but finally I said to one of them who had caught my eye (I recognized him from somewhere).

"Where do I know you from? You look familiar!"

"I play baseball at the University."

Wow. I'm an ass.

I woke up this morning with a horrible fucking head-in-a-vice hangover. The older you get, the longer it takes to recuperate from doing shots all night. At 5 PM the day after, I'm just now feeling competent to drive my car and talk to my parents on the phone. Nothing will make your hangover sting like having to talk to mother. She always manages to call the morning after a shitshow when I'm still drunk and lack the cognition required to sign my name on a debit card transaction receipt. It's salt in the wound...