what goes around comes around, and also: fuck ipod

God has slapped me across the face this week.  Not only do I have ridiculous amounts of writing to do, paperwork to complete, cleaning and packing, but I have suffered from a fate that I once inflicted upon others.  

There are very few things that can provoke a hearty laugh in my belly, and one of these few things is watching someone get hurt at their own expense.  If they are seriously injured, its a different story, but watching someone take a good spill, that harms only their pride, can make or break my day.  However, after my experiences this week, I need to make a confession to try and make things right with Yahweh or Allah or that one dude.  

In 7th grade, I was a little shit.  At lunch, I sat with my friends at a table near the garbage cans that everyone had to walk past when they dumped their tray.  There was a wormy asian special ed girl who would run as fast as she could towards the garbage cans, then she would lurk and stare.  Victimized by peer pressure, I was sadly part of a group of shitheads who subtly terrorized this girl.  How did we do this?  It usually had to do with pouring some liquid on the floor where she was walking, so as she stared, she slipped and spilled-ass on the cafeteria linoleum.  Other times, we simply distracted her with some redneck holler, or by shouting her name.  You could even dance in your chair, and she would get distracted, forget to pay attention to where she was going, and fall on her ass.  This is so mean, and if my child ever did this they would be hellaciously grounded.  But, you live and learn, and today I learned.  

My godsmack occurred in the middle of campus where there is, on a daily basis, a break dancing group.  They are comprised of 4 tiny asian guys (who move like contortionists) and one token black dude.  They are hella good at what they do, and I walk past them in amazement everyday on my way to work.  Today, I was multi-tasking (fucking around with the click-wheel on my ipod, watching the break dancers, and walking over ice at the same time).  As I was watching a wicked-good guy spin on his head, nature acted against me.  I lost complete control, and before I knew it, I was eye-level with the cobble stones catching stares from the dancers, who had stopped their routine due to my spill.  The crowd that the dancers attract had also managed to focus all of their attention on my lanky-ass all over the pavement.  It was like I travelled through a worm hole.  

I'm also pissed off that I didn't have a touch screen on my ipod.  It would have prevented this whole mess!

The strangest part about it:  When I realized I was no longer in gravitational control, the first thought that entered my mind was of the asian chick in middle school!!!  Not embarrassment, not, "oh shit that hurt!", but "wow, I feel so sorry for her".   It's like the asians have had spies watching me since 1996, waiting for my most vulnerable moment to strike.  Well, asians, you win this time, but we will meet again.   

This big spill only added to my stress factor, and only made Spring Break seem that much further away.  I have already determined that I am going to smoke so much reefer over spring break, that I won't even know what season it is.  Henceforth, this week, once designated by the season in which it falls, is now known as Reefer Break.  If you ask me what my spring break plans are, I will not be able to answer, because I no longer believe in the concept of "spring break".  However, ask me what my Reefer Break plans are and, well, you've probably figured that out already!