i miss Maximus!

The thing I miss most: Maximus. I feel so lonely without him. We did everything around the condo together. We usually slept together, and always woke up at the same time. He watched me get ready every morning, and helped me pick out my outfits and match shoes and jewelry. He is such a good listener! Mum is watching him, and she says that when she lets him roam around my old bedroom at their place, he always ends up getting in his carrier, like he's ready to go back home. :-( Yet another reason I couldn't live in NYC: ferrets are banned from the city! I love my little guy so much - I even have a blog named in his honor!

So what do I find offensive?

I laugh at retards. I relish the word "cunt". I even love racial humor and sexist jokes. I didn't start hating myself during 2g1cup until the vomiting part. What, might you ask offends me? I will tell you now.

DO NOT FUCK WITH MY MAXIMUS

Never. Just don't think about it. He is my baby. I have a web page named in his honor. Do not talk shit about him, around him or behind his back. Do not tease him in a mean way with his toys and treats. Do not under ANY circumstances EVER hurt him. The consequences will be gruesome. I cannot even type here what I would do to a person that hurt Max, for fear that it could be used against me in court.

What prompted this? Well, just last night I realized that very little bothers me, after being cussed out by a huge black dude, stood up for an appointment and then getting a fuckin' parking ticket. While these things certainly frightened, disappointed and annoyed me (respectively) I am pretty good about letting it roll off my back. UNTIL Max is brought into the picture. Then backwoods KY comes right out and shit gets red. That's all there is to it.

He's a tiny, friendly, lovable little weasel! He sleeps at the foot of my bed, gives ferret kisses, gets ready with me every morning, watches me fix my hair and even drinks some of my cereal milk. How could you even think of mistreating something this cute?! Undoubtedly, Maximus is my soft spot, and the point on which I take no crap.